When a person takes responsibility for life. Distractions become a hindrance

Marina Nikitina

Responsibility is formed, brought up and instilled in the child as a necessary social skill. The kid is taught to understand and accept obligations to be responsible for actions, actions, their consequences.

You have to learn to take responsibility both in childhood and on your own in adulthood, as the number of responsibilities in the process of life increases.

Responsibility as a socially determined skill is built into the structure of a person's personality and becomes a volitional quality.

A responsible person is a person who exercises external and internal control, with a sense of duty and responsibility.

A person who has learned to take responsibility:

realizes that life, success, self-realization, happiness depend on him;
is ready to fulfill the promises given to himself and other people, does it diligently;
able to make decisions in crisis situations;
knows how to take care of those who need help and support, or who are not independent enough;
is clearly aware of the consequences of decisions. When you take responsibility, interpersonal relationships are born that involve rights and obligations, a sense of duty and honor.

Marriage, parenthood, guardianship, work, and other spheres of life involve the assumption of certain obligations.

Limits of personal responsibility

When a person learns to make commitments, he must be clearly aware of the boundaries and norms of what is permissible.

Lack of responsibility, inability and unwillingness to take and fulfill obligations - irresponsibility. Too much responsibility is overprotection.

Irresponsible people do not take on obligations, wanting to simplify life, but suffer from their helplessness, infantilism, frivolity, frivolity, cowardice.

Hyper-responsible people suffer from anxiety, fears, irritability, suspiciousness, excessive control.

Overprotection is no less dangerous than irresponsibility. Both a lack and an overabundance of responsibility negatively affect personal life, because of them interpersonal and.

Responsibility in its normal manifestation:

regulates, organizes life,
gives self-confidence
evokes respect and self-respect,
exercise internal and external control,
fills life with meaning
gives a feeling.

Ways of Taking Responsibility

Those wishing to learn to take responsibility are advised to act in two directions:

Accept the responsibility provided.
Show initiative and make commitments on your own.

The first path is passive, the second involves activity, but both of them develop skill and ability.

In the case of accepting the responsibility provided, a person needs to force himself to complete the task by an effort of will, overcome unwillingness, laziness, timidity and fears. Don't think of it as a hopeless situation.


A responsible situation affecting a person arises by itself or at the initiative of another person and must be perceived as a necessity.

For example, by systematically performing household chores on time and in the right form, a person will learn to be responsible for the actions taken. Just as parents teach young children to fold scattered toys, so an adult learns to do homework on his own, motivating himself with the need to keep clean and tidy.

By independently creating conditions in which a person takes responsibility, he accelerates. In this case, he gives himself a task, performs and is responsible for the result. He artificially creates, models a situation of responsibility and learns to act in it, controls his emotions and desires, motivates himself.

Situations that develop a sense of responsibility

extreme situations. These are situations where the life of a person and other people depends on the ability to take responsibility. These are difficult, dangerous situations that require willpower and endurance. If a person experiences himself in a similar situation, you need to act carefully and reasonably.

Example. A relatively safe way to develop responsibility in an extreme situation is sports.

Situations where it is impossible not to take responsibility. A person has no choice, he cannot refuse for reasons of morality and ethics, a sense of duty, having a desire to help.

Example. A person is trusted to look after someone else's child for a while, while the parents are busy with urgent matters, and there is no one to leave the child to.

Situations granting new rights. Since there are no rights without duties, their acquisition will entail responsibility.

Example. By purchasing a pet and enjoying the right to play with it and have fun, a person takes responsibility for its well-being. Children are given animals in the hope of being taught to take responsibility for another living creature.

positive situations. A person easily takes and bears responsibility for what he loves, what is dear and important to him.

Example. When a person loves another, he feels a desire to help him, take care, support - these are manifestations of a sense of responsibility.

A committed person loves life, therefore he is responsible for himself, manages himself, is free to be that and live as he wants.

March 1, 2014, 16:30

If you take responsibility for your life, gradually everything will begin to change. Only for this you must be serious and decisive.

Indecision in this case, perhaps, is the worst thing. How often we go with the flow, not managing our lives, allowing external circumstances to determine our fate.

Here is what famous entrepreneur and life coach Anthony Robbins advises.

  1. Make a decision at the moment of a surge of enthusiasm.
  2. Make a commitment to see it through to the end.
  3. Tell yourself that your decision is final and everything will happen as you planned.

Unfortunately, most of us constantly break our promises to ourselves, that is, lie to ourselves. And if you do not trust yourself, you simply will not be able to change anything in your life. How to be?

Challenge yourself

Don't dismiss this article. Don't put everything off until tomorrow. Make up your mind today. Let it be what you have long wanted or planned to do. Promise yourself that you're halfway there. Tell yourself that you already have all the necessary qualities. After all, otherwise this idea would not have tormented you all this time.

When we make commitments, especially publicly, the very desire to appear consistent motivates us to act on the decision, according to researchers. Can Commitment Change Behavior? A Case Study of Environmental Actions..

When we make a decision, we build a certain idea of ​​ourselves that corresponds to our new behavior.

We begin to perceive ourselves in accordance with this decision. If, as a result, our behavior for a sufficiently long time (about 4 months Commitment, behavior, and attitude change: An analysis of voluntary recycling.) corresponds to the adopted decision, our settings also change.

Fake it until it's true? No. Make a decision to change and follow it. You don't have to pretend, but.

Finally

Make a decision, take responsibility for its implementation and communicate it to others. Make a rough plan of action. Think about what you want to achieve and what you need to do to get there.

And then create conditions in which you will inevitably fulfill your plan. Leave no loopholes for yourself. Over time, a responsible attitude to life will simply become a habit.

The ability to take responsibility for your life has nothing to do with biological age. This state does not come with the onset of adulthood on a click. If a person is allowed to drink alcohol and get married, this does not mean that he can be fully aware of his actions and does not need extraneous control. On the other hand, some 13-year-olds stand out among their peers for their prudence and responsible behaviour. Here are the harsh realities of life that indicate that a person is in complete control of his actions.

The world doesn't revolve around you

Many of us like to feel the importance of our person. However, each individual is just a tiny fish in the collective plankton. This does not mean that we cannot influence the minds of other people. But this also does not give us the right to believe that the world revolves around us.

The harsh reality of adult life is such that there will be neither educators, nor parents, nor teachers nearby at a difficult moment. None of them will come and reassure with words of consolation. To cope with difficulties, you will have to look for internal resources.

The reaction to what is happening is important

An unexpected event can happen at any moment. Sometimes it's depressing, sometimes annoying. Situations can be the most frightening and unfavorable, but only your reaction dictates how much these events will affect your life. Consider this moment: someone insulted you. You can take the insult to heart, or you can ignore it. The second option will not leave any negative trail behind it, the incident will be forgotten immediately, and you will be able to do your usual business without compromising productivity. If the first option is closer to you, an insult from the other person will be taken as a blow below the belt. All your further actions will be dictated by wild resentment, and the rest of the day will go down the drain.

Fame is not the main criterion for happiness

We live in a time when instant fame and recognition in wide circles seem easily achievable. A wild desire to become famous is inherent in youthful maximalism. Over time, you will realize that there are other, more significant values ​​in life.

Distractions become a hindrance

Each of us has things that we often do during the day. And they all interfere with the workflow. Checking emails, chatting with co-workers, talking silly on the phone, watching videos on the web. We know how to put an end to it, yet we return to it repeatedly throughout the day. The more you acknowledge the harm of distractions, the sooner you can take concrete action. Turn off the Internet and set incoming calls to forwarding. The moment you learn to take responsibility for your actions, you put an end to distractions.

Haters will always hate

When the first success comes to a person, haters immediately appear in him. This is a normal life process. And you need to come to terms with this. Understand that no one can please everyone around. There will definitely be those who do not like something or those who will speak out against it. There will be many such cases throughout your life. A mature person accepts haters and allows them to experience these feelings. It is impossible to prove something to these people, so you should not waste your time and energy on them.

Blaming others doesn't work.

Remember when we were kids, we all loved to blame a broken vase on a brother, sister, or teddy bear? However, this principle does not work in adulthood. Now excuses "It's not me!" or "Katya did it" don't work. You will have to realize that it is time to take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes we really feel like victims of circumstance or the evil eye, but victim psychology never plays on our side. She plays on the side of the opponent. And it doesn't matter who it is: random circumstances or negligent colleagues in the service. The moment you stop blaming others for all your troubles, you can change everything. In fact, in all the events that happen to us, only we are to blame.

Man is where he should be

The next reality follows smoothly from the previous one. Sometimes you feel like life has treated you unfairly. Your work is not prestigious or profitable enough. Nevertheless, you think that you deserve more, but some circumstances always oppose you. In fact, your whole life, all the events in it and all the achievements are nothing but a chain from a series of your past decisions. Once you turned the wrong way or were captured by your own illusions. And now you have what you deserve.

We have great news for all those who are not happy with the current state of affairs. Right now, you can start counting new events in the chain. But for this you need to start making informed and rational decisions. It's never too late to change something. And if you once chose an unloved business as your main professional activity, it's time to end it. Just make sure you're firm enough in your desire, then put your doubts and fears aside. Do not think about the problems that you will meet along the way. Use common sense, not emotions. No matter how hard it is to get what you want, just keep moving forward and ignore the setbacks.

Reviewed by Vladislav Chelpachenko on Jun 14 Rating: 4.5

Hello dear friends!

What is responsibility? Why is it necessary for your growth? What are the methods of training responsibility?

I will answer these questions and tell you how to achieve awareness of your own life.

Are you responsible for your life?

Responsibility is one of the most important human qualities. It means being in charge of your life, which sounds scary enough when you think about it. Responsibility comes from the Latin word "respondere" which means "to promise" or "to give in return". Let's look at the main, in my opinion, features of this topic.

What happens when you take responsibility? You fulfill the promise and exchange it for faith and energy. This applies to you personally and to others.

What prevents us from taking full responsibility for our lives? Self-deception. A person is inclined to convince himself of innocence in the troubles that happen to him. Usually they use one of the strategies: throw the blame on another (boss, colleague, employee, family, parents or state), an unfortunate set of circumstances and the belief that next time will be different - will not!

What is responsible for? Each person is to blame for his troubles and what happens in his life. Responsibility helps to reduce the number of "unpleasant" events and forces you to look at them as opportunities, and be prepared for other circumstances.

Are you a responsible person? Look at yourself from the side. If you were to meet yourself, what would be your opinion of yourself? Whatever your answer, we all have .

How to take responsibility for your life or how to train yourself to be responsible?

I will give you several methods of training responsibility, but I want to warn you right away: do not use them all at once, if you are not sure that you can stand it.

  • Set a global mission. Remember the great people: none of them set a goal of a million dollars or to achieve success. They wanted to change the world, and money and status came by themselves. but don't limit yourself.
  • What are you doing that brings you closer to your goal? How does it affect you? A person does not stand still: he either moves forward or backward. Constantly check yourself and you will be able to remove all unnecessary from your life. I advise you to do such a check for at least a month, because out of habit you will constantly forget about it. But I'm sure it will change your life a lot.
  • What do you do every 15 minutes? I suggest you print it out and fill it out throughout the day. Every 15 minutes you need to fix what you are doing. If any business takes you more than 30 minutes (that is, you need to enter it 2 or more times), then the second and subsequent times you enter your business again only if you were distracted by something else. Thanks to this method, it is easy to see what you are spending your life on. You will be able to unlock the potential for realizing your time.
  • Keep reporting. Keep a diary in which you will briefly write about your day. It should show your situation at the moment and your emotions.

In one of them, I wrote that in no case should you blame yourself for what you missed, did not write or did not say. Instilling good habits is a complex process and you should not waste energy and time on self-flagellation, it is better to go further - forward.

How to report?

I decided to pay more attention to this, because I consider this method one of the most effective and I use it myself, especially in business, where it is critical. I recommend that you use the following scheme for your reporting:

  1. Day impression. It is important to indicate your emotional state here. If you want to "drink", then do it and move on. By constantly watching your complaints, you will get tired of this activity, and you will change your perception of the world. But try to look at life more positively. Try to find positive things in your day.
  2. What did (a) do? Write specifically: earned 10,000 rubles, or made a financial report for August, or studied English for 3 hours. Write down what has moved you towards your goal today.
  3. What did you think? Write here your thoughts for the day and what was in your head. This can be not only a new invention or an innovative method for analyzing competitors, but also negative thoughts towards the state or the boss, thoughts about hopelessness, and the like.
  4. What did (a) say? Do you tell yourself that you will succeed? Are you kind to the environment? Write what information you sent to this world.
  5. What do I feel about myself? This item will show you your attitude towards yourself. By realizing your problem (uncertainty, laziness, closeness or negative attitude), you can eliminate its root.

It is important to understand that each of these points leads to full awareness of your life. It will open you up and the truth may be hard to accept, but by doing this you will change your life forever. In fact, this is enough to achieve personal and financial growth, nothing else is needed.

I wish success to those who have decided to embark on the path of changing their lives. This is not an easy task, but if you keep moving forward, you will achieve your goals.

Take responsibility for your life - written in many respected sources.

What does this mean in general? And who else besides me is responsible for it? This is my life, I'm already responsible for it. What's incomprehensible here?

I want to say, when I read smart books, I did not really understand this term: Responsibility.

Responsibility, responsibility...

Much has been said about her. Everyone is afraid of her for some reason! In a warehouse, a loader is afraid to become a storekeeper. It would seem that the work is easier, and walking around in a clean one, but he does not want to be responsible for what happens in the warehouse. I ask, did the last storekeeper suffer greatly from responsibility? No, but you know how the boss cursed at him ... So what? Nothing ... He, in principle, always swears ...

Why are people so afraid of her? Why avoid?

Even Google disclaims all responsibility. Both Yandex and Apple ... They all disclaim responsibility: you download some application, even a paid one, and there is a whole disclaimer. That is your problem if something went wrong with you. So he's an idiot!

And users, on the contrary, want as many guarantees as possible. “What guarantee do you give?” - ask before buying. As a rule, the most daring sellers give the most daring guarantee, which they obviously will not fulfill.

Once worked with a flooring company, so they had a whole department to deal with warranties. The warranty was 25 years. Impressive, isn't it? But if you deviate even one iota from the instructions (and this is 99%, unless you create your own department for the implementation of instructions), that's it - the guarantees disappear! Thus, they also relieved themselves of responsibility.

I remember, in English lessons at school: - Hu from he is duty today?

Everyone looks out the window and pretends that they have been learning English for the first year. In translation, “duty” means duty, duty. And duty is a responsibility, so everyone diligently avoids it, waiting for someone else to be “duty” and washing the floors after school. Everyone wants more rights and fewer responsibilities.

I used to naively think that the less you work, the less you get tired. It was one of the biggest mistakes in my life...

Recently, during a morning run, I caught myself thinking: but in the army it was very interesting for me to run. Now you think: I wish I had more time, I would run 10 km every day and, as a result, I would prepare at least for a half marathon.

And in the army there was a cool feat - while jogging, unnoticed by the sergeants, get out of line and smoke behind the barracks, while everyone is running! Another thing is to drive for moonshine in the village! 8 km of clean trail in soldiers' boots through the winter forest! Escape from the medical unit with a temperature of 38 and make it in 45 minutes. along with the purchase of moonshine! The next day, URAL took me to the hospital - it turned out that I had pneumonia.

Trail running is a sports discipline that involves running on natural terrain at a free pace or as part of a competition. The main difference from cross-country running is in the landscape. For trail running, hills and even mountains are usually chosen, as well as deserts and dense forests.

Thus, evading jogging, from duty, from any duties, we evade life.

When I was young, I dated girls, but I didn't want to get married - it's a responsibility. Suddenly then you have to get a divorce, but what about the children and jointly acquired property? What if I can't feed my kids? For me it was a very painful issue - children.

When I started dating another girl, I asked myself the question: do I want to take responsibility for this person? And he got married when he answered yes to this question! Of course, the decision was not made entirely by reason (who ever marries on the basis of logical reasoning?), but since then I have had additional incentives to move forward.

And I noticed that if a person cannot take responsibility for what happens in his life, a certain inner emptiness appears, which he begins to fill to the best of his understanding: someone meets all the women in a row, someone drinks, uses different substances, someone mindlessly watches TV or plays computer games all night long. There are many ways. In this way, he tries, as it were, to renounce the fact that he himself is the master of his life.

In order to justify ourselves in our own eyes, we often convince ourselves that we are unable to achieve the goal; in fact, we are not powerless, but weak-willed.
François de La Rochefoucauld

For such people, someone is always to blame, external circumstances, the government, we live in the wrong country, we were born in the wrong family, there is no talent, now it’s too late to change anything ... I think you will recognize someone you know in these statements . And add a lot of excuses that you hear every day.

We say such statements to ourselves or aloud, often without even noticing it.

- What are my circumstances? - each of us will tell.

- But you know, I had even worse circumstances, when I generally lost everything and started again ....

- But then you, and I do not like everyone else! Everything is bad for me! But how many people tried to change something - they did not succeed!

And in this way they collect “failure stories”.

And you just try to believe that you can do it! And collect even small stories, but success! Because we are all created in the image and likeness of God - He created this world, and we create our own! It is written/rewritten, but it is very difficult to understand and, most importantly, to accept.

Accept the fact that you yourself created your life. With your thoughts, decisions and actions!

Of course, there is also the influence of the initial data - it will not work for a legless football player to become a champion among healthy ones. But he can become a champion at the Paralympics!

Everyone has his own path.

You don't have to look at others when you carry your cross. You need to look ahead, uphill. This is often very painful and difficult.

You need to answer three questions for yourself:

  1. Who is my worst enemy?
  2. What is the hardest obstacle for me to overcome?
  3. Who can change my life for the better?

The real hobby of our generation is whining and goofing off about nothing. Bad relationships, school problems, an asshole boss... It's all bullshit. There is only one asshole and that is you. And you will be very surprised if you find out how much you can change just by tearing your ass off the couch.
George Carlin

It's hard to live, right? It's not hard at all if you decide to take responsibility for your life.

Say to yourself aloud: - This person, and everything that surrounds him, was invented and created by me. But I don't want that anymore. I want to change my life. She doesn't suit me. I will change it for the better! I will become the best version of myself! I am the master of my life!

And start small. For example, read at least one page a day, do a one-minute exercise / pick up a bottle in the park and put it in the trash.

After all, being the master of your own land does not mean talking about politics and criticizing others, but treating it like a master. Just like with your life. Who, besides you, will put things in order in it?

Make a commitment to yourself and others to change your life. After all, only you can do it, and no one else.