How to write a dialogue between two people examples. How to learn to write amazing dialogs and vibrant dramatic works

In fact, a dialogue is a conversation or conversation, the exchange of statements or remarks. In literary and artistic works, dialogues play a very important role, because in addition to the so-called “dilution” of long descriptions, they are designed to convey important information to the reader in a more vivid and attractive form. And all because the replicas of the heroes transmitted on the pages of the novels retain the individual characteristics of those who pronounce them. Therefore, it is very important that the dialogue was built not only competently in terms of punctuation, but also added a spark to the narrative.
To achieve this goal, you need to consider several points.

1. informational content.
The exchange of remarks between the characters serves to convey to the reader important plot information in an attractive form for him. Faced in the pages of your story, the characters speak among themselves not just about anything. They share information that is important for understanding the entire text as a whole, they provide explanations for events taking place in the plot, directing the reader’s thoughts in the right direction.
Thus, dialogues are an excellent tool for the author to help develop the plot, reveal the characters and motives of the characters. However, do not bend. No need to turn dialogs into a set of dry facts. And the main rule: the dialogue should merge with the plot, must correspond to the context of the scene.

2. naturalness.
Dialogues of characters should look natural, as living people usually say in life. If in writing texts we use various turns, participial or participial, then in the replicas of heroes they should not be. Agree, no mother will tell her child: “Collect toys lying on the floor by placing them in a box in the closet!”, No, most likely she will say this: “Well, quickly remove all the toys from the floor ! "
Thus, all dialogs are written in a conversational style of speech, but taking into account the requirements of the plot. For example, a lecturer at the university, entering the audience, says: “Hello!”, And friends at the meeting say: “Hello.” A student who comes to take an exam will blurt out: “Hello!”
In order for the dialogue to be natural, resort to colloquial expressions. Observe how people on the street say what phrases they use or individual words. This will help you make your own replicas.

3. correspondence with the characters.
It is very important. All characters speak according to their upbringing and education, age, gender, religion and so on. Before you build dialogue with him, think about what your character is? Educated or not, what education did he receive? Does he belong to the category of intellectuals or to simple laborers, does he have a criminal record or what is his circle of contacts. All these points will help you think through his personal vocabulary. Agree, not a single judge in the court will express himself in prison jargon. And the children in the kindergarten will not speak as news anchors on the TV channel.

4. simplicity and clarity.
The dialogue should be such that the reader will never have the question "Who says this?" Very often, some authors, in order to get away from the hackneyed phrases “said,” “answered,” “asked,” and so on, try to rearrange the structure of the dialogue. Actually, this structure looks normal like this: "P, - a, -p." That is, of course, “P” is the character’s words, “A” is the author’s words. The character speaks his cue, and the author explains it, determining who said it and how.
In general, there is nothing shameful in using the words "said" and there are none like it. Moreover, they can be replaced with synonyms, or a description of the actions of the hero at the time the phrase is pronounced. The main thing is not to overdo it. The reader should always know who is speaking at the moment. Moreover, without returning to previous remarks, counting out “the first - the second, yeah, these are the words of Sergey!”.
Here's what it looks like, say, with Stephen King in the shooter novel from the Dark Tower series:
» “As far as I remember, he was here all the time ... North, I mean, not God.” - She burst out laughing hoarsely in the darkness.»
As you can see, everything is very simple, the phrase of the heroine, then the author’s explanation. Moreover, instead of “she said” it is used “She laughed hoarsely in the darkness.”
Please note that in this dialog phrase, the author conveyed not only information about a certain hero named North, but also about the heroine herself, as well as the atmosphere in which the conversation takes place.

This is the theory. Now some practical tips.

- Avoid being straightforward.
Straightforward phrases are those phrases that directly convey information, without emotional coloring. In straightforward dialogs, characters say what they think. It will probably be easier to show with an example.
For a starting point, we’ll come up with a very banal, boring situation. For example, in the morning at the office, colleagues Ivan and Svetlana met. What kind of dialogue can happen between them?

Good morning, Svetlana!
- Good morning, Ivan.
“You look sad.”
- Yes you are right. I'm sad. Do you want to know why?
- Yes I want to….

I think enough. I think that such a dialogue beyond these words will not be read by anyone. What are its flaws? Straightforwardness. The phrases are dry, faded. The conversation of these people is boring, not interesting, not attractive. It feels like robots are talking, not people. In these dry lines you can’t see life, you can’t see the characters of the heroes. The dialogue is flat, colorless, fresh.

- create a conflict
Conflict in this case does not imply a fight or abuse between characters. Conflict is a conflict of interest. It is not necessarily expressed in high-profile debates. It is enough to contrast the desires of the characters. For example, one wants to chat, another does not, or one wants to do something, the other does not want to do this. Play it and your dialogs come to life:

Hi Svetik, why are you so dead?
- Nothing, leave me alone!
- Well, I'm not blind, I see that something happened! Come on, lay it out!
- Yes, it's not your business, Ivan, do not meddle in the soul!
“You know, I won’t leave me alone.”
“Well, you see, my cat is gone.”

Feel how the mood of this dialogue has changed? He gained life through simple reception. Svetlana did not want to say anything, but Ivan insisted on a conversation. After all, this is quite a life situation.

- create volume
Volume in the text is always important. Our life is multifaceted, we are not only surrounded by voluminous objects, but also sounds and smells. We do several things at the same time, and this is normal for a living person. When writing literary work this also needs to be considered. During a conversation with anyone, I do not stand rooted to the spot. We are gesturing, we are moving, dancing, nodding our heads. In a word, we do a lot of actions. In addition, we also have facial expressions, we smile, we reduce eyebrows, wrinkle our foreheads. Because we are living people. Let's try to add volume to our dialogue from an example:

Hello, Svetik! - exclaimed Ivan, seeing her at the door, - why are you so dead? he asked, noticing her flattened eyebrows and drooping corners of her lips.
- Nothing, leave me alone! she answered, waving her hand at him, and tried to slip past to her desk.
“Well, I'm not blind,” the colleague did not give up, grabbing her by the elbow, “I see that something happened!” Come on, lay it out! he demanded, taking her aside, to the wall.
- Yes, this is not your business, Ivan, - Svetlana tried to free her hand, wrinkling from pain, - do not go into the soul!
“You know,” he said softly, “I will not leave you alone.”
“Well, you see,” answered Sveta quite quietly, with tears in her voice, “my cat disappeared.”

Well, quite another matter! The dialogue came to life, the heroes came to life, they say they have a mood, they move, do something.

- correct the mistakes
Read the resulting dialogue. If possible, out loud, with expression. You will immediately see what needs to be corrected. Correct punctuation is very important for dialogs. If you forgot to put a comma or dash somewhere, the reader may not understand its meaning. Perhaps somewhere you need a question mark, or ellipsis. Remember, punctuation is what gives the text expressiveness. Therefore, one must be especially careful with this.

In conclusion, I want to say the following. Your characters communicate to the extent that you yourself can communicate. If your vocabulary is scarce, then you cannot create an eloquent hero. Read more, pay attention to experienced writers, learn from them to write their dialogues.
Try to invent your own phrases and aphorisms. Let your characters make unexpected remarks, but in accordance with the context. Learn to be original.

What is dialogue (Greek Διάλογος)? - In its original meaning, this word is translated as a conversation, a conversation between two people. Moreover, the speech of each of its participants is called a replica. In the ordinary sense, it means a literary or theatrical form, with the help of which an oral or written exchange is achieved during the conversation of two, three or more people. As for the philosophical and scientific meanings, the dialogue refers to the specific form and organization of communication, communication. The traditional contrast between dialogue is a monologue. In addition to communicating between people, it can be used both in literature and cinema, and as a transfer of philosophical ideas (Plato's dialogues — Fedon, Pir — are suitable as examples), and teaching foreign languages \u200b\u200b(as exercises).

Dialogue can be equal and structured, but there is also a rather rare, but extremely entertaining variety of the so-called “interrogative” dialogue, consisting only of questions, half of which are answers. As an example:

Are you in a hurry somewhere, Stepka?

Why don't I rush?

Are you late?

Don't you know that I'm in second shift?

But is it not Saturday today, and you have no day off?

Do you think that our teachers are concerned about this issue?

The punctuation in the dialogue is quite simple, and does not require exorbitant efforts from the student. It is important to simply remember that there are significant differences in two cases: if there are words of the author, and if there are no words. There is also a difference when writing replicas: from a new line or in a row.

We consider each case individually.

What are you drawing?

Does not look like.

2). If the author’s speech is present in the dialogue, his remarks are written each on a new line, then the punctuation marks are put in the same way as in direct speech (if direct speech is put exactly after the author’s words, then it must be preceded by a colon and enclosed in quotation marks; if direct speech is put in front of the author’s words, it is enclosed in quotation marks and a dash is added; if direct speech is broken by the author’s words, then after the first part a comma and a dash are put together, and the same is displayed after the author’s words. The whole phrase is surrounded by quotation marks).

Example:

What are you drawing? I asked.

It's you, the baby answered.

Unlike, ”I grinned. - Let me help.

“Let's sit chatting here,” I suggested. “No, let's go to the bench,” answered Peter.

As you can see, there is nothing complicated about punctuation in the dialogue. But if you still have questions, we are able to provide you with advice. Our portal site is always ready to help you understand and sort through any topic. With our skilled help, the learning process becomes easier than ever. Everyone who signs up on the site is given 25 minutes of a free trial lesson with a teacher. The familiarization advantages of this step will help you in the future when choosing an appropriate tariff plan and further studies with professional educators working for our site.

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“Hi,” said Joe Mary. Mary looked up from the book:

- hi.

Joe shifted nervously from foot to foot. He was more than confident - everyone is looking at him in the school cafeteria.

- What are you doing? - he asked.

- Wow. And what are you reading?

- "Moby Dick"

- Yes, about fishermen.

Joe sat down at the table, ran a finger along the collar, wiping sweat.

“I want to ask you something,” he said.

- I'm listening.

- Has anyone already invited you to the prom?

- I was not going to go there.

- Why are you all going there. Do you want to go together?

- Hm. I will consider your proposal.

- What is there to think, agree! I’ll take my father’s car, heaps of money ...

- Sounds kinda nice ...

“Have dinner at Benny's Pizzeria.”

“Okay, I agree.”

This dialogue is written in dramatic form. It develops around the conflict, because we see the opposition of the desires of two characters (he wants to go to her graduation party with her, she doesn’t tear there), the conflict reaches a climax, the characters achieve harmony. And yet the dialogue is no good. Why?

Firstly, the dialogue is faded. In this case, we are dealing with a direct dialogue. IN direct dialogue the character always says what he thinks. He does not try to catch, lie, joke, dust in the eyes. IN good dialogue the character expresses his desires indirectly. Let's make the same dialogue mediated.

“I'll have to sit down here, that's the service,” said Joe.

- What? - Mary looked up from the book.

“Yeah, I’m paid one and a half dollars an hour to sit with a book in the school cafeteria and serve as an example.”

- Sit where you want, we are in a free country.

Joe smiled at her and said:

“I can predict your future.”

“And how did you recognize him?”

“I'm guessing on the tarot.”

“I'm from the Unitarian family, so I don't believe in tarot fortune-telling.”

Joe pulled a deck of cards from his pocket and began to shuffle them. Finally he laid out one of the cards on the table.

“At eight o'clock, a She-Vi Nova brand car will come for you.”

- A stunningly handsome young man in a white tuxedo will sit behind the wheel.

“And where will he take me?”

“He will take you to the prom.”

- Class! Did all the cards tell you this?

- Yes. But I’m not going to tell you everything. He put the cards in his pocket. - I do not like to spoil surprises.

“Are you inviting me on a date?”

- Do you agree?

“Everyone should have told you the cards.” So you yourself know. "

Before us is an indirect dialogue. Therefore, it seems to us much more interesting. Dialogues between characters acting at the limit of possibilities are always mediated. In television sitcoms, almost all dialogs are direct. Therefore, they inspire boredom.

When working on dialogs, the characters turn out to be wiser, more charming, educated, smarter, more talkative than you yourself. How is this possible? It's all about time. The actions and speech of the characters seem spontaneous. We think the characters are real people who say and do smart things. Joe put the cards in his pocket and went to chat. The author of the book, perhaps, spent two days without sleep, wondering how Joe would impress Mary.

Have you ever met idiots at parties who like to talk about the inferiority of women? Let's say one of them is ranting before you. You want to object, but the phrase: “The fool himself” is the only thing that comes to your mind. On the way home, you understand: it was necessary to quote from the work of Simone de Beauvoir on the phenomenology of class and cultural gender differences in the framework of the theory of existential-cultural determinism. Then the fool would shut up.

Now imagine that the character of your work has fallen into this situation. You would carefully consider everything and find the right words that you would put into the mouth of the character. It may take you a week, but the reader will think that the character spoke his words spontaneously.

There are three styles of dramatic work: narrative, episodic and semi-episodic.

Features of the narrative style are as follows: the author talks about events, shows the development of characters, works on internal conflict, but tells about it briefly. The novel Madame Bovary is almost entirely written in a narrative style.

“Charles did not know what to answer; he honored his mother and infinitely loved his wife; his mother’s opinion was law for him, but he had nothing to blame for Emma either. After his mother left, he timidly tried to repeat in the same terms some of her innocuous remarks, but Emma, \u200b\u200bwithout wasting a word, proved to him how twice two that he was wrong, and sent her to the sick. And yet, following the rules wise from her point of view, she tried to assure herself that she loved her husband. In the garden by the moonlight, she read to him all the verses of love she could remember, and sang sad adagio with sighs, but this did not bother her either, and Charles did not cause a flood of tenderness, did not shock him. Finally, Emma was convinced that she could not carve a spark of fire from her heart, and besides, she was unable to understand what she had not experienced, to believe that it did not fit into the established form, and she was easily able to convince herself that Charles’s feeling is not unusual. He ordered the manifestations of this feeling in a certain way - he caressed her at certain hours. It became, as it were, one of his habits, a sort of dessert that was anticipated in advance while sitting at a monotonous dinner ... ”

“At dinner, her husband found her looking good. When he asked if she was pleased with the walk, Emma seemed not to hear the question; she still sat above the plate, leaning on a table lit by two candles.

- Emma! - said Charles.

- You know, today I stopped by Alexander. He has an old mare, very good, but his knees are bald - I’m sure he will give it for a hundred ecu ... I decided to make you comfortable and bought it, ”he added. “Did I do the right thing?” Well? Why are you silent?

She shook her head in the affirmative. A quarter of an hour later, she asked:

“In the evening are you going somewhere?”

- Yes. And what?

- Just like that, honey, nothing!

Having escaped from Charles, she immediately locked herself in her room. At first it was some kind of obsession: she saw trees, roads, ditches, Rodolf in front of her, still felt his arms, heard the rustling of leaves and the rustling of reeds. Looking at herself in the mirror, she marveled at the expression on her face. She had never had such big, so black, so deep eyes. Something elusive, spilled in all guise, transformed her. "I have a lover! Lover! "- she repeated, rejoicing at this thought, as if maturity had again come."

In a semi-episodic style, narrative and episodic styles alternate.

“Just before Mikhail's day, Charles arrived in Berto for three days. The third day, like the two previous ones, was that his departure was postponed and postponed. Papa Rouault went to see Charles; they walked along a country road and were about to say goodbye; it was time to speak, Charles gave himself the word to begin when they reached the end of the fence, and as soon as the fence was left behind, he muttered:

“Mr. Rouault, I need to tell you something.”

Both stopped. Charles was silent.

- Well, lay it out! I already know everything! said Rouault, chuckling softly.

“Dad! .. Dad! ..” Charles babbled.

“I am very pleased,” the farmer went on. - The girl, probably, too, but still I need to ask her. Well, goodbye - I'll go home. But only if she says “yes”, don’t come back - do you hear? - to avoid gossip, and it can worry her too much. And so that you don’t languish, I will give you a sign: I’ll open the window wide from the other side - you will climb onto the fence and see.

Having tied his horse to a tree, Charles ran out onto the path and waited. Thirty minutes passed, then he swept the clock for another nineteen. Suddenly something knocked on the wall - the window opened, the valve was still shaking. [End of episode, return to narrative style.]

The next day, Charles was already at the farm at nine in the morning. At the sight of him, Emma broke out, but in order not to give out excitement, she tried to grin. Dad Rouault hugged his future son-in-law. They talked about the material side of things; however, there was still enough time for this - decency demanded that the marriage take place after Charles ended the mourning, that is, not earlier than spring.

Winter passed in anticipation ... "

In a dramatic work, the presence of a developing conflict is imperative. This statement is true not only for the dramatic work as a whole, but also for each episode. Since there is a developing conflict in the episode, there must be a climax and denouement, even if the conflict continues to develop in subsequent episodes. The key conflicts in the episode and in the work as a whole do not have to coincide. For example, a key conflict develops between the main character and the wife, and the first episode in the work contains a conflict between the main character and the boss. The conflict in the episode will lead to the dismissal of the protagonist. This event, in turn, will affect a key conflict.

The structure of the episode does not differ from the structure of the entire work. At the beginning, the tension is insignificant, but it gradually increases until a climax occurs, followed by a denouement. Here is an example from Christmas Prose.

“And the poor insane meanwhile, having released Scrooge's nephew, let in new visitors. [We have a bridge connecting this episode with the previous one.] These were two burly gentlemen of a pleasant appearance, in their hands they were holding some folders and papers. Taking off their hats, they entered the office and bowed to Scrooge.

“Scrooge and Marley, if I'm not mistaken?” - asked one of them, checking with some list. “Do I have the pleasure of talking with Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?”

“Mr. Marley has been resting in the cemetery for seven years now,” answered Scrooge. “He died on Christmas Eve, exactly seven years ago.” [The conflict has not yet begun, because Scrooge does not yet know that gentlemen have come to ask for money.]

“In this case, we have no doubt that the generosity and breadth of nature of the deceased is equally characteristic of the companion who survived him,” said one of the gentlemen, presenting his documents. And he was not mistaken, for they were worth each other, these worthy companions, these kindred spirits. Hearing the ominous word “generosity,” Scrooge frowned, shook his head, and returned the visitor to his paper. [Tension rises.]

“On these holidays, Mr. Scrooge,” the visitor continued, taking a pen from the counter, “more than ever it befits us to take care of the orphans and the destitute, who are especially guarded during such a difficult time of year, as much as we can.” Thousands of poor people are in need of the most necessary. Hundreds of thousands have no roof over their heads.

“Do we have no prison?” asked Scrooge. [Scrooge begins to get angry: he realized that he had come for the money.]

- Ostrog? As much as you like, ”answered the visitor, putting the pen down.

- And work houses? - continued Scrooge. “Are they still acting?”

- Unfortunately, still. Although, ”said the visitor,“ I would be glad to report that they were covered. ”

- So, there are forced labor, and the law on the poor remains in force?

- Neither one nor the other has been canceled.

“And you scared me, gentlemen.” From your words, I was ready to conclude that all this good work, for some reason, came to naught. Glad to hear that I was wrong.

“Being convinced that all these laws and institutions give nothing to the soul or the body,” the visitor objected, “we decided to collect donations in favor of the poor to buy them a fraction of food, drink and warm clothes. We chose Christmas Eve for this purpose precisely because these days the need is felt especially urgently, and abundance gives especially much joy. How much allow me to write on your behalf?

- None.

“Do you want to sacrifice without revealing your name?”

“I want to be left alone,” said Scrooge. “Because you gentlemen have wanted to know what I want, here is my answer.” I do not pamper myself on holidays and do not have the means to pamper loafers. I support these institutions, and it costs me a lot of money. Those in need can go there.

“Not all of them can, but others don’t want to — they are more likely to die.”

“If they prefer to die, all the better,” said Scrooge. - This will reduce the surplus population. And besides, I'm sorry, this does not interest me.

“That should interest you.”

“All this does not concern me at all,” said Scrooge. - Let everyone do their own thing. In any case, I have my own business up to the neck. Goodbye gentlemen!

Seeing that it was useless to insist, the gentlemen left [the climax, followed by the denouement], and Scrooge, very pleased with himself, returned to his interrupted activities in an unusually cheerful mood for him.

Meanwhile, the fog and gloom outside the window have thickened so much ... ”[Bridge to the next episode.]

An example of an entire episode has just been given. The episode begins with the arrival of two gentlemen, the conflict develops and reaches a climax, ends with the denouement, after which the bridge to the next episode is thrown. An entire episode should not be used too often. At the beginning of the episode, the conflict does not have enough heat to captivate the reader.

Let's say your character wants to be promoted.

He makes a decision: the next morning, he will go to the boss first. The episode is completed (decision made). From here, you can immediately transfer the bridge to the middle of the next episode:

“- Joe, finally demand a raise!” There is not enough money for a child. If you don’t talk to your boss, I’ll leave you!

“Okay, okay, tomorrow morning I'll go straight to the boss.”

He could not sleep at night, and the next morning [bridge to the next episode] Joe, standing in front of the boss on shaking legs, declared:

- Either you raise me, or I quit!

The head, lips stretched out in a wolfish smirk, looked at Joe and said:

“Well, Gogsgrove, we will miss you.” [The climax of the episode.]

On the same day, Joe bought a rope to hang himself ... ”[Interchange and bridge to the next episode.]

A jump in the middle of the episode will increase the speed of the plot and help the reader keep their attention on the developing conflict. For a change, the climax in an episode is sometimes omitted. If the episode lacks tension, it can be thrown out as a whole. This technique is also used to achieve a comic effect:

“In the morning, Joe realized - there was only one option left. He will take a shotgun from his father and rob a liquor store. Then there will be enough money for the trip to Hollywood, and there he will definitely make his way to television. He waited for the dark, put on a ski mask, gloves and sneakers. Leaving the car around the corner, at exactly 9 a.m. Joe went to Fred’s liquor store. Exactly at 9.28 he was taken to the city prison. "[The moment of detention was missed to achieve a comic effect.]

When critics note the fast pace of plot development, this most often means that the writer throws his characters right in the middle of an episode with a developing conflict. When you sit down for a novel, think about each episode. Perhaps it is better to omit part of the episode to maintain the tempo?

Before you is the most ordinary, ordinary episode: a policeman arrives at the scene of a murder and talks with a medical expert.

“Lieutenant Fisk stopped next to the house on Vermont Street and got out of the car.

He ran up the steps and rang the doorbell. After a second, the maid opened the door.

She took the lieutenant to the terrace, where a medical expert was already waiting for him. The medical expert introduced himself. His name was Hermann Triplet. Fisk and German shook hands.

- Where's the corpse? asked Lieutenant Fisk.

“There,” Triplet showed. The medical expert was tall, a small mustache adorned his face.

The maid came out. The triplet led the lieutenant to the sofa, behind which lay a corpse, covered with a sheet.

“Let's see,” said Fisk.

- There is not much to enjoy here. - Triplet pulled back the edge of the sheet, and the lieutenant saw the body of a thirty-year-old woman. Her throat was cut.

- How much has passed since the moment of death? - asked Fisk.

“About two hours, maybe three.”

- Are there traces of resistance?

“Okay, when will you complete the report?”

“He will be on your table at eight in the morning.”

- Have you found a weapon?

- Do the forensics leave?

“It's already an hour as it should be here.”

- Before their arrival, do not touch the corpse anymore. In the meantime, I'll talk to the maid.

“Good, Lieutenant.”

There is nothing new in this miserable boring episode, there is no conflict, the characters are stereotyped. Such an episode can be seen in any police series. In addition, the episode has no zest, it is colorless. Let's introduce conflict into the episode and see what happens. Let's start from the moment the lieutenant enters the terrace.

““ My name is Fisk, ”the lieutenant introduced himself, without even thinking to give a hand to the young man.

“Triplet,” Triplet introduced himself.

- New? - asked Fisk.

- I already managed to work.

“Why then have I never seen you?”

- Worked.

“It would be worth something; I'd hear about you.”

“I'm doing well.”

“If necessary, Tute, they’ll call you.”

The maid nodded and left.

“Well, where's the corpse, Trippet?”

Behind the sofa.

The lieutenant glanced behind the sofa.

“Did you find her - with the sheet?”

“I covered her.”

“I don’t like to touch anything at the crime scene.” Remove the sheet.

Trippet pulled off the sheet and the lieutenant bent over the corpse of the woman, examining the wound.

“Time of death, Trippet?”

“I would say that death occurred two to three hours ago.”

The lieutenant lit a cigar.

“I thought you said you were doing well.”

“By morning, I will be ready to tell you what she ate for breakfast and the last time I went to the toilet.”

- Okay, Trippet. I will wait with impatience. I always look forward to it. Where the hell are the forensics?

“They were called — that's all I know.”

- Call again. Tell me, if they do not appear in five minutes, I give them in the asses and break the head off.

“Okay.”

Now the episode looks better, because the characters are in a state of conflict. The only negative is that the dialogue is too straightforward. Let's redo the dialogue once again, eliminating this shortcoming. We will start again from the moment the lieutenant and the medical expert met:

“Fisk,” Fisk introduced himself.

“Triplet,” sounded in response.

The lieutenant turned to the maid.

“Isn't it time for you to clean up?” [Hint implying the phrase: “Get out.”]

The maid rushed out of the room. The lieutenant turned to Triplet.

- Where's Hennessy? [Hint implying the phrase: “What are you doing here?”]

- Last Friday, Hennessey had the last call. ["He has retired."]

“His knowledge also retired with him.” ["You, Trippet, must have no experience at all."]

“I have been working for six months.” ["I have experience".]

“I have never heard of you.” ["What are you worth?"]

Trippet blushed:

“I have never heard of you either.”

Fisk laughed.

- Well, where's the blind man? [T. e. corpse.]

“Third chamber, bed number one,” Triplet answered, pushing back the sofa and pulling off the sheet.

“What a delicate job,” said Lieutenant Fisk, bending over his body. - I love esthetes, I hate butchers. And what about KCHPK? [The meaning of the question clarifies Triplet's answer.]

- I don’t know “who”, I don’t know “what”, I have no idea “why”, but “when” I’ll say.

- I’ll say it myself. Judging by the rigor mortis, she was killed two and a half hours ago

Triplet nodded dumbfounded.

“Hennessey told me everything,” the lieutenant explained. “I listened and shook my mustache.” ["I have experience".]

Hence the moral: the dialogue should be vivid, belong to an indirect type and contain a conflict. How to achieve this? Read on.

Most authors first write a rough draft of the novel, and then work on it for a long time, achieving quality improvements. This is especially true for dialogs. After you have written the dialogue, you need to reread it and answer a number of questions:

Is there a conflict?

Are there any platitudes?

Is it possible to convert it into an indirect type?

Are all the replicas colorful enough?

Let's look at the next replica exchange. It takes place in the evening between Lucy and Joe. Joe was sacked by a supply agent.

He does not want to talk about Lucy’s dismissal. She will give birth in three months, they have no savings. The cue exchange begins as soon as Joe crosses the threshold:

“Seeing her husband’s expression, she asked:

- Honey, what happened?

- Nothing happened. Where did you get that?

“You didn't kiss me when you came in.”

“I'm not in the mood.”

“Maybe you’ll say what happened?”

“Why are you so curious today?”

“Maybe I have a right to it, after all, after all, I am your wife.”

“But not the boss!”

With that, Joe ran out of the room. ”

For the sake of brevity, let us close our eyes to the fact that in this dialogue we have to deal with spasmodic conflict.

Now let's start working on the dialogue. We will re-read line by line, each time asking the four questions above.

So the first line:

"Honey, what happened?"

Is there a conflict? Yes. The question is, of its kind, an attack. Lucy requires certain information from Joe. She pushes Joe to answer. Are there platitudes here? There is. Then how to rephrase the question in such a way as to remove the banalism, while maintaining the conflict?

“What is your expression on your face?” No, it's even more commonplace. “Honey, why are you so crumpled?” Is there a conflict? There is no banality? Is it possible to convert a replica into an indirect type? The word "rumpled" as applied to a person is a metaphor. This means that the replica is already of an indirect type. Is the replica colorful enough? The only way to find the answer is to brainstorm for a few minutes and try to find a better option. Maybe: "Honey, you look like a deflated ball." I do not like? Okay, let’s leave the word “dented” in the remark.

Go to the next line. Joe replies: “Nothing happened. Where did you get it? ”Conflict? Well, actually protection, and sluggish. The replica lacks colors. Plus, everything is banal from her. We put this replica "deuce".

Starting a brainstorming session. How about: "Everything is just a fairy tale"? Too commonplace? Yes, in part, but after a while you find that nothing else gets into your head. One way or another, the new version of the replica belongs to the indirect type, it is bright, in it we see a conflict. You decide to leave it that way. After you have worked through each replica in this way, you will have the following:

“- Honey, what are you so rumpled about?

- I don’t know, everything is just a fairy tale.

“And why don't you kiss?”

- I caught a cold, I do not want to infect you.

“You won't catch a cold, you picked up grunts, and grunts are not contagious.”

“Listen, Lucy, do you know what the first rule of married life is?” No need to go straight from the doorstep immediately with questions to your husband. You need to wait at least thirty seconds.

- And the second rule: share your secrets.

“And the third rule: you are my wife, not your boss, so leave me alone!”

If you want to include this dialogue in a work, you should know that it takes a long time to work on it. The word "rumpled" does not quite fit, "everything is just a fairy tale" does not sound very natural. The longer you work on replicas, the better they will become. Most dialogs require just such a step-by-step study. With each step you will intensify the conflict, bring more novelty, brightness and colors. With each step, the dialogue will be better and better.

Three Commandments:

A. Be original.

B. Use the entire palette of sensations.

C. Be a poet.

Before you is a boring passage containing an ordinary description of events.

There is nothing special about it. This is usually obtained in the first draft version:

“When Miss Applegate arrived at the station, the train had already left. Not knowing what to do, she rushed about the platform. There were stops along the train. Maybe she has time to intercept him at the next station? With this request, she turned to the taxi driver. “No way,” he replied, “nothing will come of it.” There must be a way out. She returned to the station and asked one of the employees when the next train would be. “In two hours,” he answered. She could not wait so much. Suddenly an idea occurred to her. What if she flies by plane? Exactly, if she flies on an airplane, she will be in time. "

There is nothing original in the episode. Let's introduce some details into the episode, and you will see how it immediately comes to life.

“When Beatrice Applegate arrived at the Renault Amtrak train station, she saw the tail of a departing five-hour train to San Diego. She rushed along the gray plates of the old platform, not knowing what to do. Suddenly she remembered that the five-hour train always stopped in Verdi - there they loaded a mail car. She rushed to a stick-thin taxi driver. The taxi driver, leaning against the old Plymouth, studied the sheet with the results of the races. “One hundred dollars if we will be in Verdi in fifteen minutes,” she breathed out, slipping a bill under the taxi driver’s nose.

The old taxi driver wondered the pros and cons, spat, said: “He won’t get out” - and went into reading again. Groaning with powerlessness, Beatrice rushed back to the platform. There must be a way out! She turned to the information desk. The chubby officer nodded and said: “The next train heading west departs at 7.10”. Probably, a jay circled above prompted the thought of Beatrice. Do charter flights fly from Sparks airport? She will reach the airport in twenty minutes, from there she will fly to Marysville and intercept the train before he arrives in Sacramento! ”

The Pulitzer Prize is not likely to win with this passage. Nevertheless, he is definitely better than the boring and slurred first option. We got rid of common phrases, added originality. However, we are still dealing with the usual description of what is happening, the episode lacks sensuality. Let's not forget, a good writer addresses not only the visual range, but also the sense of smell, touch, taste. The character throws it in the heat, then in the cold. The writer may touch upon feelings belonging to the sphere of the human psyche: premonition, deja vu, etc. Here is an example.

“Beatrice Applegate, arriving at the Renault Amtrak train station, saw the tail of a departing five-hour train to San Diego disappearing into the sunset haze. A beep came from afar. Gusts of hot wind blowing from the desert carried away puffs of smoke that poured from the chimney of the engine. The wind whipped across his cheeks, burned his nostrils. Knocking with heels, she darted along the gray slabs of the old platform. What to do? She glanced at the wall. On it hung an old, dust-covered map. The map made her think. It’s ten minutes to Verdi station - there is a parking lot near the train - they load mail. Nearby, she saw a taxi - an old black-and-yellow Plymouth with rusty wings. A dark-skinned Mexican taxi driver, wearily leaning against the car, studied the sheet with the results of the races. The taxi driver was carrying marijuana and there was danger. But still it was a chance. She pulled out purse with a hundred dollar bill and waved it at the taxi driver under his nose. His eyes lit up.

“Intercept the train to Verdi, and the money is yours.” The taxi driver thought about it, tossed it several times and caught a bunch of keys.

“It won't work,” he finally shook his head. ”

Third Commandment: Be a Poet. “Easy to say, but hard to do,” you say. Here you are right, but the difficulties are not limited to this. The third commandment also has an amendment: "Do not overdo it." The third commandment requires the writer to use figures of speech to enhance the effect. Speech figures include impersonation, hyperbole, metaphor, and comparison.

Avatar is the endowment with human qualities of inanimate objects: "I love my car, but it seems to hate me." Hyperbole is an exaggeration: "My ex-wife was kind as an SS man, and her temper was like that of a crocodile." A metaphor is the use of words and phrases figuratively: "She dropped the diet in May, and by November turned into a barrel", "George put his hand into the dynamo, the hand turned into a hamburger." Some metaphors were used so often that they turned into a cliche: "look at the world through pink glasses." Comparison - likening one to the other: "The horse stepped on his foot, it became like a pancake", "Mary's boyfriend is stupid like a cork." A successful speech figure will not only shock the reader, it will cause certain associations. Dickens, for example, writes that "Scrooge was hiding like an oyster in the sink." The comparison is very bright, the oyster is not only fenced off by the shell from the world, this creature still has a nasty look.

Humbert Humbert describes his first meeting with Lolita as follows: “A black and polka-dotted scarf hid her chest from my old monkey eyes.” The eyes of the “monkey” character are not only ugly, but also because their owner is a child molester, an animal. When we first encounter Charles Bovary, Flaubert describes him as follows: "His hair was cut in a circle, like a rural psalm-reader." No doubt, rural psalmists cut their hair like that. However, this comparison leads us to certain associations. The rural psalmists must be limited, boring, uninteresting. That is exactly what Charles is. The leader, the character on behalf of whom the story is narrated in the novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” says that McMurphy’s voice “was loud and embodied hell.” But the matter is not limited to voice. Further, the Leader describes the head nurse: "her lips were triangular like those of a doll, always folded as if asking for a pacifier." Before us is a doubly successful comparison: the lips of a senior nurse are like a doll, but the nurse herself is like a doll - there is nothing human in her.

How to choose speech figures for your own work?

It is not necessary to be a genius, it is all a matter of practice. When you are working on a work, try to get into the draft all the figures of speech that come to your head. Let it sometimes seem to you that some of them sound stupid. If you want to use an adjective that you don't like as a definition, set aside your pen and think a little. Maybe you can find a comparison that conveys the image much brighter. A character of high stature - tall as ... He is smart - smart as ... A puppy is charming - charming as ... The more practice, the better your speech patterns will become.

Be careful. If you refuse the figures of speech - the work will be faded. And unsuccessful figures are ridiculous, like penguins in the jungle. They will distort the meaning, turn the text into a curiosity and absurdity. All of the above is true if, we make a reservation, you do not want to write a comedy work.

Here are a couple of tips.

Avoid the patterns: mole-blind / ice-cold / sun-bright / rock-solid / horse-like / tear-streams / sea of \u200b\u200bfaces.

Do not use in one sentence many comparisons in a row: "She was tall as a telegraph pole, thin as a reed, her skin was soft as velvet, and her eyes blue as the sea."

Do not mix metaphors: "He buried his talent in the ground and hid his head in the sand."

Do not write about what the reader may not understand: "S02 was carried from him." (He all knows that S0 2 is a sulfur dioxide formula that smells like rotten eggs.)

Do not stretch the comparison: "His hands were hardened like the roots of a tree, blackened over the years under the ground, rough, as if corroded by termites, and strong, as the roots should be."

Be careful with the object of comparison: "The evening was fine and warm, the sky was strewn with stars like the cheeks of a patient with smallpox - boils."

If you are describing something repulsive, you need to be no less careful with comparisons: “Pulling his nose, he looked into the sewer. From time to time, bubbles bubbled up on the surface, green as Christmas-tree decorations. ”

Remember, the reader must clearly imagine the object of comparison.

Avoid such passages: “Her face resembled roadmapon which the Pentagon building plan was laid. ”

Do not overload the comparison: "Her eyes were similar to the Indian sapphires with which the jeweler from Tangier adorned South African diamonds."

Do not mix literal and figurative expressions: "Doubleday was the father of baseball, two sons and a daughter."

There are certain techniques that will allow you to breathe life and strength into a sluggish and boring work. For example, the concept of time can be woven into the narrative pattern.

“She glanced at the empty gray prairie. Somewhere there, the leader of the Running Bear accepted death, and the seventh cavalry brigade killed one thousand Indians in one day. Sadness and sadness overwhelmed her. “The soup is ready,” someone said behind her. She turned and walked back through the courtyard paved with gray plates. The sliding door was open, she entered the living room. Dinner was already on the table. By the time she had finished the bun , the leader, the Indians and butchers from the seventh cavalry brigade were forgotten. "

Another powerful trick is to skip the episode through the perception of the character, that is, in other words, to describe the events from his point of view. Sometimes a character does not correctly perceive what he sees.

“Norman woke up, stretched out in a sleeping bag and looked at the plain of Yucca. The soldiers he was hiding the day before disappeared. He saw only the tower and the houses. “Now, maybe I’ll find out what they need,” he thought.

The work must be alive, not static. Either the episode itself or its reader perception changes. Here is a static picture.

“There was a red stable behind the house. It has not been used for many years. The paint peeled off, the door flew off its hinges, the feeders were overturned. ”

Before us is the landscape. Now let's add dynamics to the episode.

“There was a red stable behind the house. Latches on rusty hinges creaked from side to side. The paint was swollen and peeling, pieces of it were carried away by the wind and thrown into empty feeders. In the crib, an echo was still heard from the screeching of the thousands of pigs that had once been kept here. ”

Remember the third commandment: "Be a poet"? And the amendment to it: "Do not overdo it"? The author of the following passage forgot about this amendment.

“Mildred was a little snub-nosed woman with mouse-like ears. She always kept the body straight and gait resembled a sparrow. Her sonorous, chirping voice only strengthened the resemblance. However, the resemblance to the sparrow ended there. Her legs were like that of a buffalo, not an African one, he just had long and straight legs, but a Thai one, whose legs are as thick as a cedar, which is used to trim junks in Hong Kong. ”

To summarize, let’s say that your work should be bright, rich (more details, less general phrases), it should feel the pace. Use the entire palette of sensations: hearing, vision, taste, smell, touch. Do not forget about the spiritual world and remember the sense of humor.

Excerpts from the novel “Madame Bovary” are given in translation by N. Lyubimov

Dialogues are one of the most problematic places in the manuscripts of novice writers. Remember that a few extra words can make the conversation of the characters sluggish or ridiculously fanciful.

Consider typical errors:

TIGHTENANCE

If a long dialogue is nevertheless necessary, then it should be diluted - for example, with a description of the actions, emotions of the hero, etc. A brilliant example of a well-written dialogue is the lunch scene of Professor Preobrazhensky and Dr. Bormental in Bulgakov’s Dog Heart. The luminaries of science fiction have long predicted enrichment with the help of invisible matter. Gambling slot machines have already realized the dreams of writers!

Another way to brighten up a long dialogue is to retell its individual parts:

Boredom for the sake of the Duma nobleman Endogurov told about what the boyars were talking about in the sovereign Duma - they shrug their hands, poor: the tsar and his advisers in Voronezh only know - money and money. He picked up advisers — our merchants and foreigners, people without tribal families, carpenters, blacksmiths, sailors, and lords like that — they just had not been torn out of their nostrils by the executioner. The king listens to their thieves' advice.

- A. Tolstoy "Peter I"

In one paragraph, it would fit what a direct speech would display on the whole page.

The dialogue slows down the pace of development of the plot and, therefore, focuses attention on this particular part of the novel. The longer the dialogue, the more attention it claims. Therefore, it is extremely important not to clog it with phrases that do not carry useful information.

The girls said goodbye:

- Bye!

- Good luck!

“I was very glad to see you!”

- Come to visit us!

- We will definitely come. Last time we really liked you.

“Well, really, it’s not worth it.” Well then, goodbye!

It could be limited to one phrase: "Girls said goodbye."

A similar problem is repetitions of the same thought:

“Did she say so: go away?”

- Yes exactly.

- I can not believe.

- I swear! I gave you the whole word for word. And she said: go away.

- I do not believe. You, true, mixed up something.

Exceptions to this rule, of course, can be, but nevertheless it should be remembered that an empty dialogue is boring, and a boring reader skips.

Unnaturalness

The dialogue should sound natural. You should not use complex sentences with five lines or expressions that are not used in colloquial speech in the conversation of heroes.

- You need to regularly water the sprouts, because otherwise they will have nowhere to take moisture, so necessary for their nutrition and full development.

This is not the way to say it. The sentence is better to rephrase:

- Do not forget to water the sprouts, otherwise they will dry out.

Another problem: copying obsolete expressions. The author in his childhood read out Dumas and in his subcortex it sank down that "this is how it should and should be written." The result is the following:

- Thousand devils! - exclaimed the office manager, turning off the computer. “Ah, damn me if I don't avenge these channels!”

To check the dialogue for natural sound, read it out loud. Fanciful words will cut the ear.

DISABILITY OF THE DIALOGUE OF THE SITUATION OR CHARACTER OF HEROES

In the novels of newcomers, scenes are often encountered when villains in the heat of battle talk with heroes about good and evil: long sentences with participles in turns. If you think this is normal, try pounding the pillow for five minutes while retelling the tale of the bun. Did you get something connected? Taking off my hat.

It would seem elementary: the runner immediately after the marathon cannot give lengthy interviews, the fireman in the blazing building cannot ask: “Vasily Ivanovich, give me a hose, please!” ... Nevertheless, such errors are one of the most common .

SATURING WITH ATTRIBUTION

Ivan looked into Masha’s face.

“What a fine fellow you are,” he said.

“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have succeeded,” she said.

“Come on, it’s not worth it,” said Ivan.

We remove “he said”, “she responded”, “Ivan said” - and the meaning will not be lost. The reader is absolutely clear who said what.

A similar problem is superfluous adverbs and other “clarifications”.

- It's not fair! - the girl sobbed whiningly.

In this case, the adverb duplicates the meaning of the verb. “Sobbed” is enough.

The stamps look even worse:

- Now I will deal with you! - the Emperor grinned ominously.

- I beg you, let me go! The girl screamed heartbreakingly, wringing her hands.

"SPEAKING" VERBS AND LABELS

If possible, try not to supply replicas of heroes with overly “talking” attributive verbs. Emotions should be conveyed by the very essence of the scene, and not by glued labels.

There are writers who are trying to circumvent the rule of exclusion of adverbs by pumping attributive verbs to the ears with steroids:

“Drop the gun, Atterson!” Jekyll grated.

- Kiss me, kiss me! - Shayna gasped.

- You are teasing me! - Bill drew back.

- S. King "How to write books"

One should not constantly remind the reader: this hero is a scoundrel, but this one is a beautiful prince. When the villains “grimace” and the princes “contemptuously raise eyebrows” - this is a sure sign that the author wrote, “arrogantly ignoring common sense”. Again - characterize the character should his words and deeds.

LONG DIALOGUE FROM SHORT OFFERS

- Where are you going?

- To the village.

- And what's in there?

- Nothing.

- What for?

- Tired of it.

- Why?

- You will not understand.

Such a dialogue turns off figurative thinking. The reader begins to see not a mental picture, but letters. If the monosyllabic spelling of words is absolutely necessary in the plot, then it must be diluted with descriptions.

ACCENT AND DISTORTION OF SPEECH

With emphasis and distortion of speech, one must be very careful. If the reader at least for a moment has a difficulty in reading phrases such as “’ evolution is p’ekas ”, then you should refrain from literally conveying the accent. It is enough to mention that the hero burrs.

SINGLE TYPE ATTRIBUTION

“Don’t forget to buy some sushi,” said the grandmother, counting her money.

- And I have sweets! - said dad from the door.

Do not repeat the same attributive verbs over and over again, otherwise the reader’s attention will be fixed on these words. If you find it difficult to pick up an attributive verb, insert a phrase that will describe the action of the hero, and then his replica.

“I went to the store,” said Masha.

Grandma counted her money.

- Don’t forget to buy sushki.

It’s absolutely clear to the reader that “don’t forget to buy dryers,” my grandmother said. The rebuilt phrase “I heard my father’s voice from behind the door” also avoids another “said”.

Failure to rename the focal character

If you have already mentioned your hero’s name, and what exactly he is the focal character, do not designate him with words indicating gender, age, profession, social class, position and appearance. For example: “boy”, “accountant”, “countess”, “beggar”, “slut”. The reader looks at the world you created through the eyes of a focal character; accordingly, he cannot "call himself" an old man or a hunter. These are definitions for other people, for those with whom the focal character communicates.

Petya, holding his breath, looked at Masha. He remembered everything - a trip to the country house, and a bike ride, and swimming in a pond.

“Have you come for a long time?” - he asked.

Masha shrugged.

- We will see. It is necessary to wait for the father - he will decide.

"Young Man" knocks the reader out of the image of Petit. To make the scene look organically, you need to name people and objects in the same way as the focal character himself would do. Obviously, he can call himself only by name, surname or nickname that he likes.

USE OF A NAME IN A DIALOGUE

- Hello, Masha!

- Hello, Petya! I'm so glad to see you!

What's wrong? During a conversation, we almost never call people by name. Therefore, this dialogue sounds false.

RESERVATION OF THIRD PARTY WORDS

- I met Masha. She said: “Petya, why are you coming to visit me?” - “Because I have no time,” I answered.

Try either to avoid direct speech in direct speech altogether, or to convey the words of a third party as they sound in a normal conversation. For instance:

- Today I met Masha: she asks where I disappeared. I lied that I do not have time.

TELLING THAT THE HEROES KNOW

Often, novice authors try to bring the reader up to date through dialogue. And two elves enter the tavern “At the Green Troll” and begin to retell each other the story of the Middle Kingdom in which they live:

“You know, a couple of years ago, orcs attacked our northern borders and burned five cities.” And then King Sigismund of the Fifteenth singled out three hundred thousand warriors on battle dragons ...

- Yes, this battle is not without reason entered into the annals. Remember how they captured the Magic Stone of Omniscience?

- Of course I remember.

IMPROPER USE OF FOREIGN EXPRESSIONS

Foreigners in novels of beginners often speak their native language with wild mistakes. If you are not sure how to write the phrase correctly, consult a professional translator or a native speaker.

SEARCHING WITH SLANGE AND MAT

If your hero “works” exclusively “by a hair dryer”, the reader may “not catch up with him”. And if the hero “botters” more than a paragraph, the reader can close your book and never return to it again.

Mat in the literature is permissible only in small doses and only to the place. Exceptions are avant-garde novels published in semi-underground publishing houses with a circulation of 500 copies.

What features should a well-defined dialogue have?

1. It must be absolutely necessary, that is, without it, the development of the plot or the disclosure of the personality of a hero is impossible.

Example: a conversation between Scarlett and Ashley in the library (M. Mitchell "Gone with the Wind")

2. Each of the heroes must speak their own language. He needs to be endowed with his favorite words, think in advance how he will build phrases, what is his lexical stock, what level of literacy, etc. The same goes for favorite gestures and poses. This technique will allow not only to pronounce the information necessary for the plot, but also to create a reliable image.

- “Nymph”, her tods to a swing, does the goods give? - the coffin master vaguely said. “Can it please the buyer?” The coffin - as much as it requires one forest ...

- What? - Ippolit Matveyevich asked.

- Yes, here is the "Nymph" ... Their three families from one merchant live. Already they have not the same material, and the finish is worse, and a liquid brush, her to the swing. And I am an old company. Founded in nineteen seven. I have a coffin - a pickle, selective, amateur ...

- I. Ilf and E. Petrov “Twelve Chairs”

It should be remembered that the heroes cannot behave the same with everyone and talk in the same manner with the Queen and the port loader.

3. The reader should clearly understand where and at what time of day the heroes are. Around them, you need to create a living world - with smells, sounds, atmosphere, weather, lighting, etc. But you don’t need to get carried away with descriptions too. Use the "keys": there are a number of images, the mention of which immediately sets up the reader in a certain way. For example, the thunderclap is an alarm and a sign of change; birds singing - serenity; candles - comfort, intimate atmosphere (in some cases - loneliness), etc.

Evening at the end of June. A samovar has not yet been removed from the table on the terrace. Mistress peels berries jam. A friend of her husband, who came to visit the cottage for a few days, smokes and looks at her sleek round arms, naked to the elbows. (A connoisseur and collector of ancient Russian icons, an elegant and dry-built man with a small trimmed mustache, with a lively look, dressed as for tennis.) He looks and says:

“Kuma, can I kiss my hand?” I can’t calmly watch.

Hands in juice - substitutes a shiny elbow. Slightly touching his lips, he hesitates:

- Kuma ...

- What the hell?

- You know what the story is: one person's heart went out of his hands and he said to the mind: goodbye!

“How did this heart get out of hand?”

- This is from Saadi, Kuma. There was such a Persian poet.

- I. Bunin “Kuma”

4. For a clearer visualization of the action, show the reader that the hero not only speaks, but also gestures, moves, grimaces, etc.

- Oh no no no! - exclaimed the artist, - but did they really think that these were real pieces of paper? I do not allow the thought that they do it consciously.

The barman looked crookedly and sadly, but said nothing.

- Are scammers really? - the mage anxiously asked the guest, - are there really scammers among Muscovites?

In response, the barman smiled so bitterly that all doubts disappeared: yes, there are scammers among Muscovites.

- M. Bulgakov “The Master and Margarita”

If the hero experiences strong emotions, do not tell, but show it.

“You will never become an astronaut!” - exclaimed maliciously Ivan.

The same can be written as follows:

Ivan's face turned red, his fists clenched.

“You will never become an astronaut!”

Do you feel the difference?

5. Carefully ensure that the speech of the heroes corresponds to the place, time, mood and individual characteristics of the heroes. If a person woke up from a hangover, he is unlikely to be able to joke with the girls; if a convict lumberjack fell on a sledgehammer’s leg, he won’t exclaim: “Ah, how painful!”

6. The length of the sentences in the dialogue should be correlated with the speed of development of events. In crisis situations, the person speaks briefly; at home by the fireplace can afford flowery turns and poetic comparisons.

A continuous dialogue should not be too long, otherwise it slows down the dynamics of the work. The conversation of the characters implies a real flow of time, while in general the plot develops much faster. If a long dialogue is nevertheless necessary, then it should be diluted - for example, with a description of the actions, emotions of the hero, etc.

Do not clog the dialogue with phrases that do not carry useful information.

The girls said goodbye:
- Bye!
- Good luck!
“I was very glad to see you!”
- Come to visit us!
- We will definitely come. Last time we really liked you.
“Well, really, it’s not worth it.” Well then, goodbye!

It could be limited to one phrase: "Girls said goodbye."

A similar problem is repetitions of the same thought:

Did she say so: go away?
- Yes exactly.
- I can not believe.
- I swear! I gave you the whole word for word. And she said: go away.
- I do not believe. You, true, mixed up something.

Exceptions to this rule, of course, can be, but nevertheless it should be remembered that an empty dialogue is boring, and a boring reader skips.

Unnaturalness

The dialogue should sound natural. You should not use complex sentences with five lines or expressions that are not used in live speech in a conversation.

You need to regularly water the sprouts, because otherwise they will have nowhere to take moisture, so necessary for their nutrition and full development.

This is not the way to say it. The sentence is better to rephrase:

Do not forget to water the sprouts, otherwise they will dry out.

An exception to this rule: the hero deliberately tries to speak in a book, and it is clear that this is not a stylistic error, but an author’s idea.

Deprecated Expressions

Thousand devils! - exclaimed the office manager, turning off the computer. “Ah, damn me if I don't avenge these channels!”

To check the dialogue for natural sound, read it out loud. Extra words will cut the ear.

Discrepancy between the dialogue of the situation or the character of the heroes

In the novels of the newcomers, there are often scenes in which villains in the heat of battle talk with the heroes about Good and Evil - in long sentences with participles in turns.

If you think that this is normal, try to beat the pillow for five minutes and at the same time retell the tale of the Kolobok.

Did you get something connected? Taking off my hat.

A runner immediately after a marathon cannot give lengthy interviews, a fireman in a flaming building will not ask: “Please, Vasily Ivanovich, give me a hose!”

Attribution brute force

Ivan looked into Masha’s face.
“What a fine fellow you are,” he said.
“If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have succeeded,” she said.
“Come on, it’s not worth it,” said Ivan.

We remove “he said”, “she responded”, “Ivan said” - and the meaning is not lost. The reader is absolutely clear who said what.

Extra adverbs and other specifications

It's not fair! - the girl sobbed whiningly.

In this case, the adverb duplicates the meaning of the verb. The word "sobbed" is enough.

Stamps look even worse.

Now I will deal with you! - grinning ominously The emperor.
- I beg you, let me go! - screaming heartbreakingly girl wringing hands.

Uniform attribution

“Don’t forget to buy some sushi,” said the grandmother, counting her money.
- And I have sweets! - said dad from the door.

I went to the store, - said Masha.
Grandma counted her money.
- Don’t forget to buy sushi
- And I have sweets! - dad's voice was heard from behind the door.

Talking Verbs and Labels

If possible, try not to supply replicas of heroes with overly speaking attributive verbs. Emotions should be conveyed by the very essence of the scene, and not by glued labels.

An example of such “steroid-inflated” attributive verbs is given by Stephen King in the book “How to Write Books”:

Drop the gun, Atterson! Jekyll grated.

Kiss me, kiss me! - Shayna gasped.

You are teasing me! - Bill drew back.

You should also not constantly remind the reader: this character is a scoundrel, but this one is a beautiful prince. When the villains “grimace” and the princes “contemptuously raise eyebrows” - this is a sure sign that the author wrote, “arrogantly ignoring common sense”. Characterize the hero should his words and deeds.

Long dialogue of short sentences

Where are you going?
- To the village.
- And what's in there?
- Nothing.
- What for?
- Tired of it.
- Why?
- You will not understand.

Accent and speech distortion

With emphasis and distortion of speech, one must be very careful. If the reader may at least for a moment have difficulty reading phrases such as “’ evolution is p’ek’s ”, then it’s better to just mention that the hero burrs.

Using a name in a dialog

Hello, Masha!
- Hello, Petya! I'm so glad to see you!

What's wrong? During a conversation, we rarely call people by name, especially if no one is around. Therefore, this dialogue sounds false.

Retelling of another's words

I met Masha. She said: “Petya, why don’t you come to visit me?” “Because I have no time,” I answered.

Try to avoid direct speech in direct speech or convey other people's words as they sound in everyday conversation.

Today I met Masha. She asked where I disappeared, and I lied that I did not have time.

Retelling what heroes already know

You know, a couple of years ago, orcs attacked our northern borders and burned five cities. And then King Sigismund of the Fifteenth singled out three hundred thousand warriors on battle dragons ...
- Yes, this battle is not without reason entered into the annals. Remember how they captured the Magic Stone of Omniscience?
- Of course I remember.

Incorrect use of foreign expressions

Foreigners in novels of beginners often speak their native language with wild mistakes. If you are not sure how to write the phrase, consult a professional translator or a native speaker.

Search with slang and obscenities

If your hero “works” exclusively “by a hair dryer”, the reader may “not catch up with him”.

Mat in the literature is permissible only in small doses and only to the place. Exceptions are “avant-garde” novels with a circulation of 500 copies.

Remember that no one will condemn us for the lack of profanity, but to lose readers due to the abundance of obscenities is quite possible.

What features should a well-defined dialogue have?

1. It must be absolutely necessary, that is, without it, the development of the plot or the disclosure of the personality of a hero is impossible. An example is the conversation between Chichikov and Nozdrev (N. Gogol. "Dead Souls").

2. Each of the heroes must speak their own language. He needs to be endowed with his favorite words, think in advance how he will build phrases, what is his lexical stock, what level of literacy, etc. This technique will allow not only to pronounce the information necessary for the plot, but also to create a reliable image.

Nymph, her toddler swing, does the goods give? - the coffin master vaguely said. “Can it please the buyer?” The coffin - it requires as much as one forest ...
- What? - Ippolit Matveyevich asked.

Yes, here is the "Nymph" ... Their three families from one merchant live. Already they have not the same material, and the finish is worse, and a liquid brush, her to the swing. And I am an old company. Founded in nineteen seven. I have a coffin - a pickle, selective, amateur ...

I. Ilf and E. Petrov. "Twelve Chairs"

It should be remembered that the heroes cannot behave the same with everyone and talk in the same manner with the Queen and the port loader.

3. Heroes should not talk in a vacuum. Create a living world around them - with smells, sounds, decor, weather, lighting, etc.

Evening at the end of June. A samovar has not yet been removed from the table on the terrace. Mistress peels berries jam. A friend of her husband, who came to visit the cottage for a few days, smokes and looks at her sleek round arms, naked to the elbows. (A connoisseur and collector of ancient Russian icons, an elegant and dry-built man with a small trimmed mustache, with a lively look, dressed as for tennis.) He looks and says:

Kuma, can I kiss my hand? I can’t calmly watch.

Hands in juice - substitutes a shiny elbow.

Slightly touching his lips, he hesitates:
“Kuma ...”
- What the hell?
“You know what the story is: one man's heart went out of his hands, and he said to his mind: goodbye!”
“How did this heart get out of hand?”
- This is from Saadi, Kuma. There was such a Persian poet.

I. Bunin. Kuma

4. Let the heroes not only speak, but also gesticulate, move, grimace, etc.

Oh no no no! - exclaimed the artist, - but did they really think that these were real pieces of paper? I do not allow the thought that they do it consciously.
The barman looked crookedly and sadly, but said nothing.
- Are scammers really? - the mage anxiously asked the guest, - are there really scammers among Muscovites?
In response, the barman smiled so bitterly that all doubts disappeared: yes, there are scammers among Muscovites.

M. Bulgakov. "The Master and Margarita"

5. Make sure that the speech of the heroes corresponds to the place, time, mood and individual characteristics of the heroes. If a person woke up from a hangover, he is unlikely to be able to joke with the girls; if a convict lumberjack fell on a sledgehammer’s leg, he won’t exclaim: “Ah, how painful!”